Making a Difference

I have looked over the blog several times in the past week or so. There's a lot of things that I wanted to write about over the past few months but never did. I will continue to write as we continue this journey of healing. There have been two ideas that have been getting me through these past five months. The first one is that I will get to spend eternity with my son in Heaven. The second is that God put Isaac on this earth to fulfill a purpose. This idea is emphasized in a story that was shared at Isaac's memorial service from John 9: 1-3. "As he (Jesus) went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so the work of God might be displayed in his life.'"

I hoped and prayed that I would see some evidence of God's work through Isaac during my lifetime and that I would not have to wait until I got to Heaven to see why God gave Isaac to us. However, I never imagined what an impact our little boy would have or that I would see it so soon.

First, Isaac inspired his mommy and daddy to become closer to God. Even before the blog and before we really told anyone about our situation, Dan and I realized that the only way that we were going to survive this situation is by completely trusting in God. So, if nothing else, I am so thankful for the impact Isaac has had on our relationship with God. Isaac has changed our lives in so many other ways too. Now more than ever, we are so thankful for the many blessings that we have. Dan and I have also grown so much closer in our relationship. I love my husband more today than I ever have in our 11 years together.

But more than just us, Isaac has made an impact in so many other lives. His influence was evidenced in all of the people that came to celebrate his life on Saturday. Dan and I were humbled by how many people were there to support us. We could not have asked for a more beautiful tribute to our son. Thank you to all of you that were there. Aside from all of the people at the service, I know Isaac's life has had an influence on all of the people who have read our blog and others who have heard our story from one of our friends and family members. We have received cards from people that we have not met, just because someone has told our story at church or at work. We are so thankful that so many people have allowed Isaac's story to touch their hearts.

Isaac has also touched the lives of other children through charity. I know the staff at my school has been collecting diapers and other baby supplies to donate to local families. Thank you so much for allowing Isaac to make such a difference in our community. We also set up a Memorial Fund through Operation Smile that many of our family members and friends have generously donated to. Operation Smile provides surgeries for children with facial deformities, such as cleft palates. Right now, the donations will provide surgeries for 6 children in Isaac's memory. Thank you to those of you who have made donations so far. If you are interested, you may donate in Isaac's name through this Memorial Page: http://support.operationsmile.org/goto/IsaacMarkovich

I am so thankful that the work of God has been displayed because of the life of our son. I know his impact will continue far beyond his short life.

I have had some requests for more pictures of Isaac. Thank you all again for your continued support and prayers.

Our first moments together

Isaac's Birth Story

As I mentioned in my last post, Isaac's birth story is one that could only be orchestrated by God. We are very fortunate that things happened just the way they did, and we know that our whole experience was the answer to everyone's prayers.

The story starts on Thursday, April 7. The day started normally. I went to work and had a regular appointment at Maternal Fetal Medicine after school. As I was walking out of school, one of the other teachers even said to me, "See you in the morning!" What ironic foreshadowing!

At the beginning of the appointment, I had my blood pressure taken. While it was still higher than normal, it was still in that caution range - something to watch, but not anything to act on yet. Afterwards, I had another ultrasound to check growth and other vitals. We saw Isaac's hair and his eyes blinking on the ultrasound. He even had the hiccups. The doctor came to talk to us after the ultrasound. He was concerned about my blood pressure and talked about our options, including being admitted to the hospital to induce labor. Before he made the decision, he wanted to check my blood pressure again. This time, it was severely high. He called to confer with the doctor that was on-call for my regular OB, since my regular OB was out of town until Monday. They decided I should be admitted to the hospital immediately.

Needless to say, I was not ready to be admitted to the hospital. I was not ready to start my leave of absence from work. I did not want to be delivered by a doctor I had never met before. And most importantly, I was not ready to say goodbye to my little boy. I was sick to my stomach as I walked across the hospital from the doctor's office to the admitting office.

The nurses immediately started medicine to lower my blood pressure. This medicine was the absolute worst! It made me feel very tired and at times, "out of it." I also could not eat or drink anything because of the possibility of a c-section. Plus, I had a catheter and medicine to help prepare my cervix for labor. It was not a fun night! I met the on-call doctor for the first time, and I tried to convince her to wait until Monday when my doctor would be back in town. She wasn't having any of it! At this point, the plan for delivery was to check my blood work in the morning, and if the results were not favorable, I would immediately have a c-section. Otherwise, I would start pitocin to naturally induce labor.

Thankfully, in the morning, my labs were still high, but not in the range for an immediate c-section. They started the pitocin at 8:30 a.m., but at this point, I was not dilated at all. I should mention at this point that details from here on out, especially specific times, get a little fuzzy. I also continued to have the blood pressure medicine and they were drawing my blood every four hours. Around 12:30, the doctors started talking about performing a c-section again. The labs were still not favorable and they didn't want to wait much longer to deliver Isaac. Then God intervened. After about 4 hours of contractions, my water broke and I was 9 cm dilated! We waited another hour and then I started pushing.

I was not prepared for this part of labor. We had not been to a child birth class or watched a labor DVD. I really did not read any books about labor either. I thought I still had a couple of weeks to prepare. After about 3 hours of pushing, the doctor gave me one more hour to deliver, or she was going to perform a c-section. I didn't go through all of this to end up having a c-section. I was determined to deliver Isaac! He was born thirty minutes later.

The next 25 minutes were the best of my life. Dan and I spend the time just loving our little boy. I couldn't take my eyes off of him! His daddy was holding him when he went to Heaven.

Because of the blood pressure medicine, I could not get out of bed. Dan did such a great job taking care of our little boy. He gave him a bath and dressed him. He shared him with all of our family that was there. The hospital allowed us to keep Isaac overnight. I was thankful for this because I had to stay on the blood pressure medicine for 24 hours after delivery. I was still a little "out of it," and I didn't want to let Isaac go when I was feeling that way.

The next day, the doctor came in during rounds and spent an hour with us. She asked if she could look at Isaac and we said okay. She spent time explaining his anomalies to us. Before she left, she asked if she could pray with us. At that point, I knew that God was watching out for us the whole time. While I saw that she was emotionally moved the day before, she hadn't revealed her faith to us until then. She also told us something that reassured my heart - her son's name is Isaac Daniel.

Looking back, I am so thankful that everything happened the way it did. Talking to the doctors and the nurses later, my initial lab work indicated that my blood pressure affected my liver and kidneys. Who knows what would have happened if I would have just went home that night? While I was initially upset about being delivered by a doctor other than my own, I know that God sent the perfect doctor to deliver Isaac. Again, I know that God was watching out for us that day and answered so many prayers.

Here's some more pictures of our little angel. Thank you again to Tanya Johnston Photography for these priceless photographs.

Look at all of that hair!

After his bath - I think he looks so sweet and handsome.

Heaven Has One More Angel

Isaac Daniel was born on Friday, April 8, 2011 at 5:05 p.m. He spent 25 minutes in our arms before we placed him into the arms of Jesus. He weighed 5 pounds, 9 ounces and was 20 inches long. He had a full head of wavy brown hair.

Isaac's birth story is one that could only be orchestrated by God. We know that many people have been praying for us over the past five months, and after our experience, I know that God answered everyone's prayers. Isaac has received the ultimate healing, as he now dances in Heaven with Jesus. Matthew 19:14 says, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'"  I plan on writing his full birth story later in the week.

We are planning a celebration of Isaac's life on Saturday, April 16 at 11 a.m. at First Christian Church, 2061 McGregor Blvd., Fort Myers. If you have been touched by Isaac, please feel free to join us.

We were also fortunate to have been able to contact a photographer to capture our precious moments with Isaac. While I had been in contact with a photographer with the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep organization, she was unable to make it on the day of his birth. The nurse at the hospital helped us find Tanya Johnston, who provided us with the priceless gift of these images.

 








God welcomed Isaac to Heaven with a beautiful sunset

It's April...

We have been anticipating April since August, when we first found out we were pregnant. At first, we were beyond excited for April. Now, our feelings towards this month are bittersweet. As much as we have prepared ourselves for this month, we know it will be harder than we can ever imagine. But deep down, I also feel that we may experience a joy that we could have never imagined either.

We had two ultrasounds this week because my blood pressure was unusually high at my Monday appointment. While it is still high, the doctors don't think it is high enough to act on it. We are just monitoring it closely at this point. But, two ultrasounds mean more pictures for us! One of the blessings of this experience has been all of the pictures we have of Isaac. The sonographers at Maternal Fetal Medicine have been very accommodating during this whole experience. After they take the measurements that they need, they take their time to try to get us some nice images of Isaac. Never once have I felt rushed there, even when I was the last appointment of the day. Right now, Isaac is still head down and continues to grow. He is almost six pounds!

Feet crossed

His little fist

I received a request for a belly shot of me, but I have not gotten around to taking some of me in a while. Next Saturday, we are having some maternity photos taken by a professional photographer. Hopefully, I can post some of those after the shoot.

Lastly, I want to share my deep appreciation for Dan. I can't imagine traveling this journey without such a strong and brave partner by my side. He has been the "glass half-full" to my "glass half-empty," the "Tigger" to my "Eeyore." Whenever I get sad (and I do), he always has the right thing to say to make me feel better. Whenever I get cranky (and I do that even more), he has been patient, understanding, and helpful. I am so proud and blessed to be his wife.



Thank you all for sharing in our journey. Your prayers and support provide an amazing comfort each day!